.......................................................
I seriously hate my family. No one seems to care about me. All they care about are my brothers, they totally neglect me. Told them about how i feel, I ended getting scolded even more. Then what is the point of me telling you? I rather tell my friend about it. At least they bother to care about me, what do you all do? You just scold me!! WTF!! I REALLY HATE THIS FAMILY!! FUCK YOU SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU!!
The one that i want to be with now is you. Why cant you just be with me? Things arent going smoothly at all..i need you by my side. Like what you said, what you need now is an embrace from someone who care to remove those loneliness away. I want it from you, but why can't i just it?!?! Why is my life so unfair?!? Why am i living in such a horrible life?!?! WHY WHY WHY?!?!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
290810
Why cant you just accept my help? We are friend aren't we? So why can't you just accept my help? Is it because I did this to you previously when we were together? I really want to help you. It still hurts my heart to see you like this.. I really don't want to see you this way. You said you need someone to care for you, so I'm here trying to help you get over all this damned shit! I really care alot for you, so why can't you just accept my help? Is it because we just break up that's why you find it weird? Okay I know that it is weird for someone who used to be your ex-girlfriend to try to comfort you. But you agreed to be friends, so why can't you just accept it? Do you know how horrible I feel now? I really want to help you. WHY WHY WHY IS IT SO UNFAIR?!?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU??? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BLOCK ME ON MSN?!?! NOT LIKE I WILL TALK TO YOU.... WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO SUCK A THING TO HURT ME EVEN MORE?!?!?!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
240810
I really miss every single moment with you. My life seems to be so meaningless now without you. Can we get back together? I really love you alot alot alot!! Do you still love me? Are you still looking/staring at me in class? Because i can still feel it... Does that mean that you still love me? I STILL LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!! Are you angry with me because i talked to other guys so happily, that's why you want to break up? You know that i am actually trying to not talk to guys that often now because of this. I guess it was this reason that make you decide to break up is it? Why?!?! You can talk to girls, why can't i talk to guys? Are you jealous that i am so happy with them and that i am not happy when i am with you? Is that true? The last few times that i spend with you, you kept one asking me to smile. I am happy in my heart, just that i am not showing on my face. Do i have to smile always when i am with you? You should know that i am really happy when i am with you. It always reminds me about the wonderful memories that we had together for the past few months when i close my eyes. The scene just keep replaying in my mind... I can't seem to be able to forget. Neither do i think i would want to... Will you come back to me?
Do you still love me? Coz i do...
My heart only belongs to you now...
There is no way you are going to leave my heart...
Do you still love me? Coz i do...
My heart only belongs to you now...
There is no way you are going to leave my heart...
Friday, August 13, 2010
130810
Great day even though i cried in the morning before going to school. I didnt want to see you at first, but i have no choice. I will just have to face it bravely. The present you gave me was unexpected. You once said that you wont give me any present for my birthday, so i didnt expect that to happen. I find it weird. You just asked for a break up the day before and you still have a present for me? Was it a toy that you found at home? But anyway, thanks for the present. I love it and i will treasure it. The one and only gift that you gave.
Surprise birthday celebration from the team and my wonderful class 3H! Was scammed by Shayln, thinking that there really is a meeting about the Japan Trip. But, it turned out to be a celebration. Was so touched when i see the cookie cake and the card that the team gave. Thanks Miss Teo for the present and the cake. Another surprise after school. 3H actually celebrated my birthday! Didnt expect the guys to do that as well! I suddenly love the class alot! Thank you 3H for the slice of cake and the card that all of you wrote to me. I was touched too. I almost cried but had to control. Didnt want to cry in front of everyone.
Overall, today wasn't such a bad day after all. Besides the fact that something happened between us and I couldnt accept it.
Really hope that that isn't what you are thinking. And hope that things would go better. I pray for the best to come and everything will be alright.
Surprise birthday celebration from the team and my wonderful class 3H! Was scammed by Shayln, thinking that there really is a meeting about the Japan Trip. But, it turned out to be a celebration. Was so touched when i see the cookie cake and the card that the team gave. Thanks Miss Teo for the present and the cake. Another surprise after school. 3H actually celebrated my birthday! Didnt expect the guys to do that as well! I suddenly love the class alot! Thank you 3H for the slice of cake and the card that all of you wrote to me. I was touched too. I almost cried but had to control. Didnt want to cry in front of everyone.
Overall, today wasn't such a bad day after all. Besides the fact that something happened between us and I couldnt accept it.
Really hope that that isn't what you are thinking. And hope that things would go better. I pray for the best to come and everything will be alright.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
120810
Why do such thing happened? I was ready to stand up, but this made me fall to the ground again. It hurts! I want to stand up again, but i doubt i could. Life had never felt so horrible before. Will everyone experience this once in their life? Why do i have to experience it now?! This isnt the right moment to experience this pain!
Do you really meant what you said? Are you at the right mind to make that decision? Is this the right decision? I couldn't get over it! I deeply in love with you and yet this thing happened when I know I was ready for this relationship. I was finally prepared and ready for this and now you have to tell me that we should stop... What is this? I could sense that you don't mean it. But why? Why now? Why must you tell me a few days before my birthday? I hate this alot! Seriously! My eyes are dry, there arent any tears left. I have been crying since last week when something happened to you. And now i have to cry even longer? Seeing you so happy in class, i thought i could stop crying, but now you have to tell me this to make me cry even more? What is this seriously?! Do you really meant what you said? We only didnt talk for a week plus coz so many things just seem to happen and now we are like worlds apart. I really dont want this to happen! I want you back!! I am still in love with you and definitely couldn't get over it!
Please tell me that you dont meant what you said.....
Do you really meant what you said? Are you at the right mind to make that decision? Is this the right decision? I couldn't get over it! I deeply in love with you and yet this thing happened when I know I was ready for this relationship. I was finally prepared and ready for this and now you have to tell me that we should stop... What is this? I could sense that you don't mean it. But why? Why now? Why must you tell me a few days before my birthday? I hate this alot! Seriously! My eyes are dry, there arent any tears left. I have been crying since last week when something happened to you. And now i have to cry even longer? Seeing you so happy in class, i thought i could stop crying, but now you have to tell me this to make me cry even more? What is this seriously?! Do you really meant what you said? We only didnt talk for a week plus coz so many things just seem to happen and now we are like worlds apart. I really dont want this to happen! I want you back!! I am still in love with you and definitely couldn't get over it!
Please tell me that you dont meant what you said.....
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
110810
I am stress! Very stress! Damn stress!
There seems to be so many problems to solve and i have to solve it alone... YES, ME MYSELF, ALONE! No one could understand how i feel now. So many things to do - controlling the team, playing up to the expectations, study well, family problems, friend problems and many other problems for me to solve. Seriously no one will understand how i feel. Having a team filled will so many slackers and people that dont obey you, i realy have no idea what to do during every training. No one is listening to you, everyone is just sitting down waiting for someone to carry them there. Only have to wait till i scream and shout at you guys then you guys will move. I finally understand how all the ex-captains feel like. No wonder they all cannot wait for hand over. I have just started to be to captain and i still have 1 more year to go, i have to perserve on! I can't just give up like this! This is not a sportman's attitude!
Are the expectations you gave too high for me? Or am i just setting my own expectations higher just to meet your expectations? When i dont play to what is expected of me, i feel horrible and useless and lousy! I know that that's not my best, but why can't i accept this fact? It is not like it happens everyday... It have been quite a while since this ever happened to me... But why cant i get over it? I kept thinking that i should injured myself to give myself a break. What thinking is this?! OMG! Why cant i stop thinking this way today?! What is wrong with me, seriously!! I HATE MYSELF!! Why do i think this way?! What kind of attitude is this?! What is wrong with me?
Studying is what i am suppose to do. Everyone seems to be working very hard suddenly and i want to work hard as well, it is just that i dont have the time to. Trainings and tuitions are just invading my life! I had never feel so stress before! Tuition after training?! What is this? How am i suppose to keep awake?! I wont be learning anything at all.
Family and Friends... I somehow thinks that someone from my class hates me. I dont know why. But what did i do wrong? You have the guts to write a draft in the class blog but dont have the guts to publish it. Who are you!? I really want to know who you are and what did i do to make you comment such thing about me... Everyone in the class seems to be okay with me, its just you, who are you? Everyone thinks that I am the fun and hyper person in class, so who are you? What did i do to make you comment such a thing about me?! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. SO THAT I COULD CHANGE AND BE BETTER...
There are just too many problems to solve. I cant seem to be able to solve a single one of them. They are just too difficult to solve. I feel like giving up!
My birthday is in 3 more days and I am still not prepared for that day. I dont want that day to come. Whenever i heard someone saying that number or say the word birthday, i feel like crying... Why?! I dont know!! There are seriously so many things that happened in this month. Probably because of that that is why i dont want my birthday to come. I tried to bring myself to the birhtday mood, but i cant. I tend to forget about my birthday... This is the worse birthday that i ever had...
Thank you to those who tried to comfort me and make me feel better. I will get over all this soon, i hope. I really hope that someone will come and help me. That someone is someone that i have been waiting for a very long time. I MISS YOU!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?! WHEN CAN WE EVER TALK ON THE PHONE AGAIN?? I MISS SAYING THOSE MAGIC WORDS....
There seems to be so many problems to solve and i have to solve it alone... YES, ME MYSELF, ALONE! No one could understand how i feel now. So many things to do - controlling the team, playing up to the expectations, study well, family problems, friend problems and many other problems for me to solve. Seriously no one will understand how i feel. Having a team filled will so many slackers and people that dont obey you, i realy have no idea what to do during every training. No one is listening to you, everyone is just sitting down waiting for someone to carry them there. Only have to wait till i scream and shout at you guys then you guys will move. I finally understand how all the ex-captains feel like. No wonder they all cannot wait for hand over. I have just started to be to captain and i still have 1 more year to go, i have to perserve on! I can't just give up like this! This is not a sportman's attitude!
Are the expectations you gave too high for me? Or am i just setting my own expectations higher just to meet your expectations? When i dont play to what is expected of me, i feel horrible and useless and lousy! I know that that's not my best, but why can't i accept this fact? It is not like it happens everyday... It have been quite a while since this ever happened to me... But why cant i get over it? I kept thinking that i should injured myself to give myself a break. What thinking is this?! OMG! Why cant i stop thinking this way today?! What is wrong with me, seriously!! I HATE MYSELF!! Why do i think this way?! What kind of attitude is this?! What is wrong with me?
Studying is what i am suppose to do. Everyone seems to be working very hard suddenly and i want to work hard as well, it is just that i dont have the time to. Trainings and tuitions are just invading my life! I had never feel so stress before! Tuition after training?! What is this? How am i suppose to keep awake?! I wont be learning anything at all.
Family and Friends... I somehow thinks that someone from my class hates me. I dont know why. But what did i do wrong? You have the guts to write a draft in the class blog but dont have the guts to publish it. Who are you!? I really want to know who you are and what did i do to make you comment such thing about me... Everyone in the class seems to be okay with me, its just you, who are you? Everyone thinks that I am the fun and hyper person in class, so who are you? What did i do to make you comment such a thing about me?! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. SO THAT I COULD CHANGE AND BE BETTER...
There are just too many problems to solve. I cant seem to be able to solve a single one of them. They are just too difficult to solve. I feel like giving up!
My birthday is in 3 more days and I am still not prepared for that day. I dont want that day to come. Whenever i heard someone saying that number or say the word birthday, i feel like crying... Why?! I dont know!! There are seriously so many things that happened in this month. Probably because of that that is why i dont want my birthday to come. I tried to bring myself to the birhtday mood, but i cant. I tend to forget about my birthday... This is the worse birthday that i ever had...
Thank you to those who tried to comfort me and make me feel better. I will get over all this soon, i hope. I really hope that someone will come and help me. That someone is someone that i have been waiting for a very long time. I MISS YOU!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?! WHEN CAN WE EVER TALK ON THE PHONE AGAIN?? I MISS SAYING THOSE MAGIC WORDS....
Sunday, August 8, 2010
090810
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!
It hurts to see someone that you care for or someone that you love suffer everything alone. I tried to be there for you, but why you dont want my help? You are just making another person suffer with you... You apologised for your wrong doings. I know you dont mean to hurt me, i dont blame you for all this... I just want to be there for you. Help you when you are feeling down and help you when you have no one to support you. I dont wish to see you like this! I want you to get over this quickly!! I want you to be back to normal. Not the emo, troubled and sad person... :(
I MISS YOU BADLY! :(
WHEN WILL YOU EVER BE BACK?
I HAVE BEEN WAITING PATIENTLY FOR A WEEK, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE.
EVERYTHING REMAINS THE SAME...
WHEN WILL THINGS EVER GET BETTER?
I NEED TO RELAX MYSELF!!
I KNOW YOU NEED TO RELAX AS WELL, BUT WHY YOU DONT WANT?!
YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM REALITY.
YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO FACE THIS PROBLEM BRAVELY...
WHY THE SURPRISE TOMORROW WORK? I HOPE IT DOES... I DONT WANT IT TO TURN OUT TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT...
It hurts to see someone that you care for or someone that you love suffer everything alone. I tried to be there for you, but why you dont want my help? You are just making another person suffer with you... You apologised for your wrong doings. I know you dont mean to hurt me, i dont blame you for all this... I just want to be there for you. Help you when you are feeling down and help you when you have no one to support you. I dont wish to see you like this! I want you to get over this quickly!! I want you to be back to normal. Not the emo, troubled and sad person... :(
I MISS YOU BADLY! :(
WHEN WILL YOU EVER BE BACK?
I HAVE BEEN WAITING PATIENTLY FOR A WEEK, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE.
EVERYTHING REMAINS THE SAME...
WHEN WILL THINGS EVER GET BETTER?
I NEED TO RELAX MYSELF!!
I KNOW YOU NEED TO RELAX AS WELL, BUT WHY YOU DONT WANT?!
YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM REALITY.
YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO FACE THIS PROBLEM BRAVELY...
WHY THE SURPRISE TOMORROW WORK? I HOPE IT DOES... I DONT WANT IT TO TURN OUT TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT...
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